Josh Reynolds pointed me to these entries by Richard Dansky. The first is Seven Questions You Should Never Ask A Writer and the second is Seven Things You Should Always Ask A Writer. It's pretty entertaining, and because I'm all about entertainment, here are my answers.
First, the questions that should never be asked (and if I've been asked them before).
1) Where do you get your ideas?
I've been asked this one frequently, but I don't get bent out of shape by it. I think every writer has been asked this question before. And the truth is my ideas can come from anywhere. Often times, I can't tell you where they came from, they just happen.
2) I have a great idea for a novel. If I tell it to you, can you write it so we can share the profits?
I've gotten variations on this, mainly in my work-for-hire comic work. This isn't so bad, depending on who's asking it. For example, if any of my fellow Pulpwork Press authors asked me this question, I'd be hard pressed to say no. If it's going to be a collaboration, that's one thing. Some of my best experiences in writing have been through collaboration.
But if it's someone who's just going to dictate something rigidly to me and not allow for any input, then I'm going to pass on it. I actually recently had a situation like this where someone asked me to help them write a graphic novel. The client's ideas were rigidly set in stone, but they were never made clear to me. Anything I did was met with extremely vague orders for revision, so I had no idea what I was supposed to be writing.
And if it's someone who just throws a one-sentence story idea at me, then:
a) My contract should specify a lot more than half considering the level of work I'm doing
b) I should have a lot of freedom
c) It better be a damn good idea
Believe it or not, there are people out there who try to scam writers into coming up with scripts and then they'll never speak to said writer again and try to pass off the writer's script as their own work. I've never experienced this myself, but I've heard the horror stories.
3) Can you write me into your next novel?
I've been asked this and in one case, I said yes, because the person who asked the question came up with a great way to write her into the book that I just loved and fit in perfectly with the story I wanted to tell. But for the most part, I'll say no. My characters are pastiches of characters from other stories as well as people in my life but never has any of my characters been a direct transplantation of someone I know into a book.
4) Do you know what you should have done with your last book?
I think this question is basically the beginning of someone trying to say how they would have written your book better. And that's pretty damn irritating, not to mention arrogant as shit. I really couldn't care less how you would have written my book because it's my book. Write your own book and then see how you like it when someone else tells you what you should've done.
5) Can you get me a copy of [insert name of highly anticipated best-selling book] in advance, because you're a writer? I know all of you writers hang out together.
Living in Japan, I do get asked a question similar to this, but not because I'm a writer -- it's because I'm an American. My students (especially my elementary students) have often asked me if I'm friends with Barack Obama.
6) Seriously, why don't you want to write this awesome book I had the idea for?
If I said no, pestering me isn't going to change my mind.
7) I want to be a writer. What should I do?
First, find the heaviest object possible. Second, bash your head against it. Repeat as necessary until you get this idea out of your head. Being a writer doesn't make you famous, it doesn't make you rich, it's not a replacement for a "real" job, it's not glamorous and it's frequently extremely frustrating. Every writer I know has a day job. Making a go of it with writing with no other source of income can be very difficult when you're starting out (at least if you're writing fiction).
Also, it's this idea that writing is easy -- wake up around noon, sit in front of your computer for an hour, spend the rest of the day playing video games/smoking pot/drinking/fucking/whatever. Writing is tough. Frequently, the ideas won't be there when you want them to be. When you find yourself with a lot of free time to devote to writing, Murphy's Law dictates that's when your motivation will decide that this free time means it's time for a vacation.
And no matter how much success you have as a writer, no matter how many books or stories you write, no matter how many you sell, you will NEVER surpass your mountain of failed story ideas, rejection letters, and abandoned works.
8) Why do you write?
Because I have to. It's a compulsion. Whenever I've gotten so frustrated with writing that I decided to give it up, I always find myself getting sucked back in.
Now, the questions you should always ask a writer.
1) Tell me about your book.
The book I just released is Love & Bullets, an action novel that's sort of a mix between John Woo and Ian Fleming. It centers on Angela Lockhart, a skilled assassin and covert operative for the mysterious Agency. After the death of her husband, Angela gets fed up with the Agency's lack of effort to find his killer. She leaves and finds herself working for the mysterious Dante, a power broker whose organization Infernum is almost the polar opposite of the Agency. Becoming an assassin for Infernum, Angela eventually comes into contact with another Agency operative, Christian Pierce. Pierce poses as an innocent bystander in a scheme to bring Angela back into the fold, but in the process, the two develop a dangerous relationship.
2) Who are you reading?
Currently, I'm reading Moonraker by Ian Fleming and Rabbit Heart by fellow independent author, Barry Reese. I had just finished Pagan Babies by Elmore Leonard and Bluebeard by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. And I'll say this about some of them.
First off, Vonnegut is one of the greatest writers in the history of American literature. The man was a master satirist and his quirky style remains often imitated but never replicated. It can take some getting used to, but it's absolutely brilliant.
Second, Elmore Leonard. If you like crime fiction, Leonard is your man. He's got a short, punchy style and his dialogue is really snappy. Very few writers have the sense of pacing and dialogue that Leonard has.
Next is Fleming. He can be a bit of a mixed bag -- you really have to approach Fleming's Bond books in the era they were written. So they can be very racist and misogynist at times. But getting past that, Fleming's version of Bond is one of my favorite fictional characters. If you like it when Bond's depicted as more ruthless in the films, then the Fleming books are well worth checking out. And frequently they are extremely different from the films they share a title with. For example, the novel of Moonraker has absolutely nothing to do with James Bond in space.
And finally is Reese. I saved him for last because I wanted to make sure he got a special mention. There have been a lot of pulp-style authors popping up in the independent market as of late and Reese releases a lot of his stuff through Wildcat Books. His Rook series features a vigilante in the 30s and is great if you're a fan of the Shadow, the Phantom or later evolutions of that concept such as Batman or Moon Knight. The book I'm reading right now, Rabbit Heart, I won't talk too much about, since I plan on writing a full review of it. But suffice to say, it is definitely a horror book and there's some pretty unsettling stuff in there (and that's coming from a guy who wrote a very graphic horror book called Chasing The Dragon).
3) What are you working on now?
I've got a few irons in the fire at the moment.
First, I should mention a novel I finished the manuscript for a few months ago -- The Myth Hunter. Love & Bullets was my salute to Ian Fleming and John Woo and The Myth Hunter is a nod to Indiana Jones and Lara Croft. Elisa Hill is a myth hunter, someone who pursues the various legends of the world either for profit or for knowledge (she has done both). This novel (the first of what I hope to be many) deals with her trying to locate the lost continent of Lemuria while avoiding a shadowy organization called the Order, who has employed her old partner, Lucas Davalos. Also, there's another more ruthless player on her trail.
Next one is Outlaw Blues. This book is on a hiatus for now as a lot of it is locked on a hard drive I don't currently have access to. But this book is the second book in the Infernum series (Love & Bullets was the first). Whereas Love & Bullets was more of an action novel, Outlaw Blues is almost like an urban western. It centers on Carl Flint, a man who has a very small but very pivotal role in Love & Bullets. Flint was once one of Infernum's top assassins, but retired after a botched assignment. He's spent the intervening years running a small bar where he plays the saxophone nightly and drowns his sorrows in whiskey and blues music. He gets asked to perform one last job but it leads him into a whole web of trouble.
Next up is SoulQuest. I mentioned some of the history about this in an earlier entry so best to refer to that. This will be released via online serial format through the Revenance original fiction website. Once it's complete, it'll be collected and sold as a novel.
And finally is The Devil's Gate. This features a new character I created called Luther Cross. Cross is an occult investigator who's also half-demon. Despite his heritage, he frequently goes after demons. But he's no ally of Heaven, either -- the angels aren't too pleased with him because he doesn't toe the line. He's somewhere between the two, has a vampire for a girlfriend, and isn't opposed to overcharging the people he helps.
4) Which book do you wish you'd written?
This is a pretty good question. After reading The Losers comic series, I think I'd have to go with that. Andy Diggle did so many things in that series that I wish I had done first. It was just brilliantly executed and Jock's artwork was stunning.
5) What were you going for with _________ in your book?
Since this needs to be more specific I can't really answer. But this is a great question to be asked. My frequent response is, "I have no idea." I'm often reminded of the film Barton Fink, where John Turturro's eponymous character tells John Mahoney's W.P. Mayhew (his writing idol) that what he loves most about writing is exploring all these deep themes. And Mayhew responds with, "me, I just enjoy making things up." That's pretty much how I feel -- I like making shit up.
6) Can I buy you a drink?
Abso-fucking-lutely. Scotch, nothing younger than twelve years.
7) What's your process for writing?
It really depends on the book. Sometimes I'll have collections of scattered notes. Sometimes it'll all be in my head. I try to always have a notebook on me whenever inspiration may strike so I can jot it down. Depending on the book, I'll do a lot or very little research, usually as I'm writing. For The Myth Hunter, I did a lot of research on ancient weapons for Elisa's arsenal as well as research on legends surrounding Lemuria, including similar lost continent legends like Mu and Atlantis (as well as connecting legends).
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